Tuesday, Jan. 14, 2003
I say: Maybe.
There is the fur rug that rests against the back of our heads. The light is almost off, and I am thinking about Schieles' long lumpy lines. It is not quiet here, and I am never really good company. I can't relax, always waiting for the next.
Morphine is on the sound system, because I asked.
You whisper in my ear: I am a good listener. You can talk to me.
I say: I hate the sax.
You: Do you have a soul?
And I laugh, and I think: How do you check?
You turn over, and smell yourself.
You apologize. You say you stink.
Me: Let me see.
You lean over and put your arm near my face.
Me: Nothing.
You unzip your black nylon jacket and push an armpit to my nose.
Me: No, not so bad. Girls always wanting to show how strong they are.
You: I am mighty.
Me: Meathead.
And you smell yourself again.
Someone in the next room is getting hit with a leather strap, and there is a carnal resonance.
You cover your face, and turn the music up.
I say: Maybe.
You say: Yeah, and yawn.
I pull into my driveway, and my housemate is standing on the corner. She is waiting for her ride to work. So, it is very late, close to 5 in the morning. She stands there as I drive past, looking like a child with her wide grin, in her giant red jacket, and floppy earflaps. A child with a giant steaming mug of coffee, in the dark, on the street corner, smiling to me.
Smiling at me, and waving.
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